A thriller with happy ending – interview with Wypłatnik

To clarify all mysteries and allegations, we set off to the Market Square to talk with Wypłatnik. See below, what we learned!How good to see you again, Wypłatnik, we were terribly scared for you. What have been happening to you?It’s a long and complicated story, my dear friends… Everything began a couple of weeks ago. I have been feeling somebody’s eyes stuck on me since some time before. Sure, I’m used to people staring at me, they keep visiting me, asking questions, taking pictures with me. This time, though, I felt it was something different, disturbing and giving me chills…. I tried to find out who was looking at me but my efforts were in vain – I could not see anyone suspicious there… Few days passed…

Wypłatnik, this sounds like the beginning of one of the thriller stories by Marek Krajewski, so adored by Big humans! Say, what happened later?

One night, when I got so tired with counting the bills that I fell asleep standing (the way I’m used to), somebody put a black sack on my head and kidnapped from the Market Square. I woke up tied in a damp room – as it turned out later, it was one of the sewages near the Oder river. I was lying on a terribly cold ground, pitch dark everywhere… All I could hear was somebody’s breath close to me and simmering of the water further away. I was completely lost and terrified. Can I have a sip of water? Sure, we can’t wait for the rest of the story.

Alright, let’s proceed. I was sitting in that sewage for some time (I can’t tell if for hours, days or weeks) not seeing anything and not knowing what I was supposed to do. Shall I stand up and blindly search for the exit? Or desperately cry for help counting on someone to hear me? My thoughts were spinning but one was particularly striking – who kidnapped me? That pondering was interrupted by a horrible voice only few metres away from me:‘I finally got you… You won’t escape!’

‘Who are you and what do you want from me?’, I answered, my voice shaking.

‘Who I am – you don’t have to know this, but you’ll soon learn what I want’, said the kidnapper with a malicious giggle.

Then I recalled I knew that voice, I only could not tell from where. Then, I heard the sound of running. The kidnapper disappeared and I was left alone. I started to wonder whose voice that was. Bingo! My opressor has been known in the underground Dwarf City for ages and once etery coupe of years we’re bound to face him! It’s the Oder Goblin, the biggest and, actually, the only enemy of the dwarfs of Wrocław!

Oh no, not him! Not long ago, with the immense help of Big Humans, we defeated him! We hoped he would never attack us again… Go on with your story!

The goblin was back couple of hours (or days) later. Knowing who my kidnapper was made me even more scared of him as I knew the tales of his mischievous deeds and uncommon maliciousness and boldness. ‘Now you’re gonna give me the PIN code to the dwarf bank account or you’ll never see the daylight and your beloved brothers!’, said coldly the Goblin.

Chills went down my spine. The money of all Wrocław dwarves were on that very account! Only then I realized that the Goblin had taken my card before. No one knew the PIN code but me as the Papa Dwarf made me responsible for the important task of guiding the access to the dwarf account. The situation was hopeless – if I give him the PiN, the many years’ savings will be lost. If I don’t – I’ll never see the light.Suddenly, all my pondering was interrupted by a terrible noise – I could hear the Goblin screaming and fighting. After a few minutes of turmoil there was quiet and suddenly somebody lit up a candle! Then I saw the most strange view – there was a Goblin tied down with white bedsheets and… The Washer standing! You wouldn’t believe how glad I was!But what was The Washer doing in the goblin’s den?

This is the very question I asked him! As it turned out, he was doing the washing in the Cathedral Island when he heard muffled voices coming from the nearby channel. Out of curiosity, he decided to check who explored those dangerous regions. As soon as he approached, he recognized the Goblin’s voice he was familiar with before. The Washer knew Goblin’s presence was not a good sign so, without hesitation, he went down to get the idea what the situation looked like. You know the rest of the story. The Washer quickly tied down the surprised Goblin with the freshly washed bed clothing and set me free! I hugged him, filled with gratitude – not only did he rescue me but all our savings! Together we walked the Goblin in front of the Papa Dwarf who decided to imprison him again in the castle in the Owl Mountains. I hope he’s not going to escape again!Unbelievable story, Wypłatnik! You were very lucky and brave as you didn’t disclose the dwarf secret to the mischievous Goblin…

It’s The Washer who should take the credit as it was only his courage and aptitude that allowed us to run away. Once again, big thanks, fellow!After all these days heavy with emotions it’s time to get some rest. Thank you for the interview!